The NIKOS: the third person approach!

Are you a regretful person? Do you regret a lot of things you do? Sometimes they torture you? Pardon the French but do you ever say to yourself: “#@?! was I thinking?”

I used to! I think everyone does. Don’t have stats on it but I am pretty sure everyone I talk to has had that moment and if you haven’t, come for a coffee and quick chat and I will make sure you say it… the question is why? Why do we get into these situations?

Simple: it’s the EMOTION!

Your emotion controls many decisions in a given day. From what you wear to what you do, where you go, how you say things, what you say, and so on. Emotions guide us and if you read up on the brain, emotion is a part of our decision making process.

So what’s the cure? Well there is no cure but we can create a behavioral process to lower the average amount of times you get into a regretful situation. How you ask?

Simple: Talk in third person!

Nikos is the best! Nikos rocks! Nikos, Nikos, Nikos… NO!  I don’t mean this!

Third person approach is much different. It is an art that is developed over time! You must take your time learning the technique. You put yourself in a baby step learning process.

The third person approach works like a charm when engaged in any situation where a decision will be made and emotion is part of it.

Examples include, should I buy something? Should I go to sleep? Should I do my homework? Should I spend time with a person I don’t like? Should I be getting advice? Should I, Should I, Should I…

When making critical decisions to problems, I use this process (replace with your name):

  1. Calm yourself down with a coffee or something that relaxes you
  2. Analyze the problem analytically
  3. Calm yourself down again by forgetting the problem
  4. Create the options that exist to the decisions
  5. Say:  What is the best decision here for Nikos? Nikos, it is best for you to… because… and you will not regret it for the following reasons, Etc.
  6. Write it down to have the why of your decision handy
  7. Remind yourself that you made the decision for the reasons…..
  8. DONE!

Try this for a few months… it will be hard but the advantages will change your mood. You will be happier in every decision you make. You will become a decision making GURU…

How did I come about this?

When running your own business situations come up where you need to make a critical decision. Sometimes you can get advice and sometimes you can’t. This process came about when I thought to myself, WHAT WOULD I RECOMMEND TO A CLIENT?

Magically the decision to use third person was an excellent choice… Simply put, AWESOME!

 

 

Believe me … or DON’T

I am running a marathon… or at least I think.. last few months now… is it will or hope? The question I often ask myself!

I am actually running a marathon in the arctic, barefoot and shirtless.  When starting a new venture you analyze all and take risks… risks I took.

Small business is all about risk. Whether you quit your job to start a venture… or you build on it over time… to take the plunge, one thing is for certain… you made a choice and now you need to keep going!

The usual trip of an entrepreneur starts with a dream. Starts with a dream that aims to make things better! As things progress, one begins to think that all is good and success is on the way. As the wheal starts to role, one begins to gain great confidence only to be shut down with reality a short while later.

What happens? What turns the tide from happiness to disparity?

Reality! Yes, reality hits and we realize that the business world was not as we thought it would be. All the sudden success isn’t as promised (as we thought) nor as we expected.  We are now chasing a dream and not a goal. The key word here is goal. People get stuck in an adventure hoping that all goes well but when do we know to go on or quit?

I like to think that this is the point we start analyzing where we are at. Can we figure it out or do we need help? Can we keep going or should we quit? The questions are there but do we have an answer…

The point that we need is to stop and think, and say yes, we need a break from reality, we need a break from fakeness… we need a chance at a new beginning.  This is the point where we stop, no thinking, not actions, just being still.

Stillness is the key to my success. I absorb all my emotions (negative and positive) and allow them to settle down. Usually this is during my coffee break! I create a mind map of things that need to be done to change the tide and jump on the first idea that I think will bring me success.  This is the stage where we reset and align our actions with the goals!

Why does it work for me?

It works for one reason… when you have no emotion in an idea you have no biased opinion… you are using your mind, your knowledge and experience.

My next article will be all about my “NIKOS strategy”; the third person approach! Conveniently the cure to regret!

Ready to Connect? Networking Events in KW!

Do you network and at that how much time do you spend networking. When people ask me about it, I tell them how much time I spend and they look at me like I’m crazy! Am I?  Well no, I am not. My business is networking and as such I do it to the tee. I often coach clients on networking; teaching them the ins and outs of networking, tricks and tips, and so on.

I will be writing a full blog about networking, but in the mean time here are several events happening in KW.

SBCN Connect  Tuesday Nov 13 2012 – 7:00pm to 10:00pm The Honest Lawyer

This event always shows results and its one to come to. It is great to connect with people and have a social drink, in a social setting, where peoples real personalities come out!

Ribbon Cutting Ceremony with Mayor Doug Craig at 5:00 pm! 284 Water Street North, Cambridge

Grand Openings are always great! Especially if it involves the mayor and especially if we are supporting our community!

Canadian Networking, Wednesday, November 14th, 6-9 pm at Conestoga Place on Manitou Drive.

If you haven’t been to one of these events, please check it out! You always bump into some grate people!

2012 Business Expo Wednesday, November 14, 2012 4:00 PM – 7:00 PM Bingemans

Of course this is the event of events for the chambers.  175 business showcasing their businesses… it’s a networkers heaven!

SBCN Monthly Networking Wednesday, November 21, 2012 – 7:00pm to 9:00pm Small Business center City Hall

SBCN is a great place to come and network. The relationships built here are worth keeping. Why? It’s a venue that promotes growth for all small businesses… have you met the OJ’s?

7th Annual Warm Hearts of Affrica Fundraising Party, Saturday November 24, 2012  8-12pm The Canadian Clay and Glass Gallery

This year’s event will be by far the most unique yet! 60’s Mad Men theme, fashion show, live entertainment courtesy of Chive Tonic, food and a wide variety of silent and live auction items! Tickets are now available at www.warmheartsofafrica.com.

Chamber young professionals, November 27th 5.30 – 730 pm Borealis Grillhouse and Pub

Once a month it’s nice to go meet young talent. Re-energize yourself and see what happening!

Rogers Business After 5 – December Wednesday, December 05, 2012  5:00 PM – 7:00 PM  Bingemans

Your monthly meet up with the chamber. Meet the businesses that are involved in the chamber.

SBCN Christmas Social Monday, December 10, 2012 – 7:00pm to 11:00pm The Honest Lawyer

Simply a great place to be… For us who don’t have a Christmas party!!!!

Movember Events: http://www.movemberkw.com/

Finally, there are about 10 events on the website for the remainder of MOVEMBER!!! Come out and meet a random group of people who are business, entrepreneurs, professionals, and just plain supporters for an awesome cause!

Having a tough time networking? Ask me for tips!!! This is what I do!

Don’t be Stressed, there’s no POINT!

I don’t know about you… but I haven’t had a full stressful day in years…

Why?

Simple! I don’t worry about things that may or may not happen. I get the deal? Great! I don’t get the deal? Great! Move on! Kinda like dating, no?

I see it this way:

  1. Opportunity comes
  2. Make a choice on it
  3. Win/Lose situation occurs
  4. Smile/frown
  5. Repeat

Why?

This is life. You can’t win everything and you can’t lose everything. I would say it is more like baseball and batting averages. Today you have a tough pitcher on his game and tomorrow you don’t.

In the stretch you should be succeeding or you are definitely doing something wrong. If that’s the case, consult with someone! Find a mentor or a friend that wants to listen to you and will help you find a solution (note: someone in the field of fixing things).  I have people from all industries around me. I strive to keep them close.

How many friends do I have? Well that’s a based on your definition of what a friend is.

In reality, you need to become self aware. You have no friends and you have no one around you; only those who need you are around! But you need them and you are sharing services… use what is available and build on what you have to get what you want.

Stress leaves when you realize that you are who you are and things come as they come. Accept that you are in a rut and figure out a way to change what is causing the rut…

Bank called? Great! Girl/boy called? Great! Business partner, client, employer, landlord, and so on? Great!

Something is wrong let’s figure it out! Find out what you need fixing and move forward in your journey. After all no one is better nor worse than you!

Fact is I don’t stress. I don’t worry. I just wonder and my mind leaves into the abyss.  When it comes back, work is done, the problem leaves and I am back in the game!

 

 

Smart or Smarter?

FACT: everyone thinks they are smarter than the other! Why waste that time worrying about little things in life? When working with someone do you find it frustrating that a person is acting like they know everything but you seem to do all the work? While working with a client and a few of his partners on a consult, I realized that they had a big problem: “No one valued each other’s intellectual ability”

Fact is they didn’t trust each other. Big problem don’t you think?

I was standing in a typical example of a person not respecting the other thinking they were always right and always smarter. This applied for each of the partners on to each other… further this, it trickled down to the whole team of employees! Thought I was in Ramsy’s Kitchen Nightmares…

What did we do? We had a session on what everyone is good at looking at their strengths and weaknesses. Surprisingly, they all had both segments. What a relief.

We started talking all together and analyzed the opportunity cost for each person’s time spent on what the other was doing, trying to make it better or redoing work. The ROI on everything was causing them to be so inefficient that they were latterly bleeding their wallets dry. Further that, they had given up on the business and wanted to end it.

The process was simple:

  1. State what you are good at and what you like to do, then focus on it
  2. State what you are NOT good at and what you DO NOT like to do, then simply don’t do it
  3. Mind your business over a period of 3 to 4 weeks while everything is being monitored
  4. Analyze the performance in a meeting
  5. Figure out a solution and implement it if required

Point is that we spend too much time in other people’s business. We spend too much time trying to fix the other instead of trusting them and helping them develop that skill… Trust is crucial especially in a growing company. If there isn’t any then it must be developed or an exit of one person must occur.

Communication Change in the Corp Word

Communication Change in Corp World

Communication Change in the Corp Word

Communication Change in the Corp Word

 

We have all been involved in large organizations. We have all witnessed what it is like to work with others in a massive team. We have worked the jobs at the bottom of the chain and also the ones at the top. Various understanding of how to deal with people exists and it is usually based on previous experience, culture, society norm, and so on.

What I noticed while working with some big corporations, is that people tend to stick to what they know. They don’t like change and certainly not anything that will compromise their job/career. It is intuitive that they follow procedure.

Does this make or break a corporation? Well startups are in a different position. They are able to create a different culture and develop new approaches to their work flow. Usually this can give them leverage over bigger companies and giving them an opportunity to grow faster and capture market share.

So how does communication come into play? The basis of any working model should require a proper communication flow; a way for a team to develop and grow constructively. What happens next? The interesting process of corporate politics enters the arena and when you have new technology… fireworks are always expected.

While at the bottom of the chain working the entry jobs, I would suggest great tools, great flows and really, anything that would limit the amount of time it would take to get responses back. Moving up the chain and learning the tricks of the trade I would start suggestions with proper presentations and proof of efficiency. This proved to be beneficial. The interesting portion however, came from different management.

Focusing on the successful ones, they integrated culture change. Culture change is always difficult, with all the politics, procedures and what not else that exists in a large corporation. The effectiveness of being able to make the change always brought success in the implementation. If this was not accomplished, the opposite occurred, where by efficiency dropped and the projects felt the ramifications of limited culture change.

Sensitive Much

Sensitive Much?

Sensitive Much

Sensitivity… Its a bitch!

You ever work with someone who is over sensitive? Don’t know how to deal with it? It comes with experience but I wanted to give a quick example and a solution of steps to try that work with me.

After working with a member on my team I realized that the person valued how “smart” they were. They valued being the smartest guy on the team. Rightly so they were the smartest in their own domain. Everyone has different skill sets that they excel at and being the smartest all around doesn’t always apply. What happened over and over however, the person would get upset with anything and anyone who tried to show him something that he didn’t know.  What I realized however, that a pattern was emerging. Steps I took:

  1. Started following the pattern
  2. Analyzed what was said and how
  3. Developed the timing and situation
  4. Came up with different solutions and tested them
  5. Analyzed them and Voila

What we realized is that he wasn’t getting upset over him not being the smartest, he was upset over how we said. The tone and words that were used.. I am a direct person and will tell you straight to the face not worried about how you feel. Why? This is how I was raised and this is how my culture is.

So I started working with sensitivity words. These words included “we”, “let us”, and so on; words that were group mentality, words that avoided the “you are not that smart” feelings.

Sensitivity is a big issue both in the work and social life of everyone. I have my theories but will leave them for another article. The point is that you can’t afford to not accommodate these scenarios. People by nature are negative and by this thought we need to focus on avoiding sensitive dialogue. By this I mean becoming aware of any sensitive words that a person may take differently and have a mood swing that ruins productivity for the day.

Jimmy Kimmel on Negativity... Problems and Positive (ness)

Negativity – Society Norm to Avoid by Deflecting with Positiveness

Jimmy Kimmel on Negativity... Problems and Positive (ness)

Jimmy Kimmel on Negativity… Problems and Positive (ness)

Had a thought: I am not negative but everyone who says I’m negative is truly negative. How did I come up with this? Well after several years of reading a whole bunch of books on every religion, spirituality and emotional intelligence, I realized that society has started this new vibe of being “POSITIVE”, and wow is it ever bad. Here is how I see it:

  1. Someone comes into my life and I’m pretty happy with everything.
  2. They start feeding me their garbage about how happy their life is but really it is not… (We live in a country that breeds “Live to Work” mentality)
  3.  I listen to their problems and realize that they have issues but by this point it is too late. I am sucked in.
  4. I say something that is causing me anguish
  5. I am labeled as negative by this person

What is interesting?  These people full of negativity try to be positive, wasting all their energy on a process that eventually fails. They suppress their emotions and hold everything in attempting to be positive. The break eventually comes… my frustration is dealing with people who tell me I am negative…

Example: I have no money in my account and I’m bitching about it because my clients are not paying me… response, bro don’t me negative!

Really? That’s being negative? That being realistic! I am actually asking for help in this scenario. One aspect of this help is that I want someone to listen and the other is that I need a solution. What happens though? People see this as negative. I will tell you what negative is in my eyes:

  1. Starts with someone thinking they can’t do something.
  2. They try in a mediocre way and they fail.
  3. Then they try again in the same way and fail again.
  4.  They repeat and bam! They are in a loop.
  5.  They don’t try to change the loop and it just continues knowing they will keep failing!

How do you deal with negativity?

Well firstly you need to understand whether you have a problem with something or not. If it’s a problem and can be fixed easy… then fix it. If it is a problem that continually arises, then you have this “negativity” that will start to build.  It is not the problem you have to fix but the process you are in that creates these similar problems.  Analyzing the process is not simple and generally needs you to dedicate a lot of time! So be patient, breath and keep going!

The Nikos

Nikos Blog? What is it and why I write!

The Nikos

I am Nikos. I am strong and brilliant and have a strong sense of who I am, what I need and what I want. This being said, I know a lot about myself and I am continually learning about life! I am most intrigued by people around me, who they are and what they do, and so on.

I look at things differently than others and I always wonder why. I have a thought process different than most and I believe I am lucky to have an opinion in a country where I can shout it out!

My life has not been on a straight road like some and has not been on a zigzag pattern either. It has been filled with great and bad times where I wondered why am I lucky to have this happen to me (noticed I said lucky on both the good and bad).

I am neither a positive person nor a negative person. I see life as is and searching for acceptance. I have beliefs in God, the universe and all that is mighty. I also believe in human nature hence, my opinion gets distorted between what is and what isn’t right on a society level. Some say I don’t care. Some say I care way too much.

The blogs of Nikos are written to show the people who read it that life is not status quo, life is not your own world, life is not what everyone says it to be.  I see things that beg the question “Why?” and I look to answer it.

My process is simple, if it is stupid (irrational) then I will write about it. I hope one day that the stupid (irrational person) will read it! My views are not to harm anyone and are not meant to ruin society’s norm but to question (feeling like Socrates here).

My writings are written as I think. They will be written to influence and to help people who want to change. People who want to live. People who want to believe in a better world that is freedom!

I will make spelling mistakes, I will make language mistakes (after all not my first language) and I will often say stuff that is out of line. Don’t be alarmed it is normal. If you think I am yelling, it is just my passion coming out. If I say try something, don’t take it literally and then come back complaining (or suing). I hold no responsibility. I am not responsible for you what so ever. In fact no one is. It is all up to you… if you want to debate me, perfect! That’s what I want, a good conversation questioning the norm!

Also, look at my postings on presentations, services, companies and more… I am here to help, coach and mentor people

Check out www.satnermobile.com www.satnerhosting.com www.satner.com www.siliconw.com and www.liveappdesign.com for more information on my work!

That being said let’s start!