FACT: everyone thinks they are smarter than the other! Why waste that time worrying about little things in life? When working with someone do you find it frustrating that a person is acting like they know everything but you seem to do all the work? While working with a client and a few of his partners on a consult, I realized that they had a big problem: “No one valued each other’s intellectual ability”
Fact is they didn’t trust each other. Big problem don’t you think?
I was standing in a typical example of a person not respecting the other thinking they were always right and always smarter. This applied for each of the partners on to each other… further this, it trickled down to the whole team of employees! Thought I was in Ramsy’s Kitchen Nightmares…
What did we do? We had a session on what everyone is good at looking at their strengths and weaknesses. Surprisingly, they all had both segments. What a relief.
We started talking all together and analyzed the opportunity cost for each person’s time spent on what the other was doing, trying to make it better or redoing work. The ROI on everything was causing them to be so inefficient that they were latterly bleeding their wallets dry. Further that, they had given up on the business and wanted to end it.
The process was simple:
- State what you are good at and what you like to do, then focus on it
- State what you are NOT good at and what you DO NOT like to do, then simply don’t do it
- Mind your business over a period of 3 to 4 weeks while everything is being monitored
- Analyze the performance in a meeting
- Figure out a solution and implement it if required
Point is that we spend too much time in other people’s business. We spend too much time trying to fix the other instead of trusting them and helping them develop that skill… Trust is crucial especially in a growing company. If there isn’t any then it must be developed or an exit of one person must occur.
We have all been involved in large organizations. We have all witnessed what it is like to work with others in a massive team. We have worked the jobs at the bottom of the chain and also the ones at the top. Various understanding of how to deal with people exists and it is usually based on previous experience, culture, society norm, and so on.
What I noticed while working with some big corporations, is that people tend to stick to what they know. They don’t like change and certainly not anything that will compromise their job/career. It is intuitive that they follow procedure.
Does this make or break a corporation? Well startups are in a different position. They are able to create a different culture and develop new approaches to their work flow. Usually this can give them leverage over bigger companies and giving them an opportunity to grow faster and capture market share.
So how does communication come into play? The basis of any working model should require a proper communication flow; a way for a team to develop and grow constructively. What happens next? The interesting process of corporate politics enters the arena and when you have new technology… fireworks are always expected.
While at the bottom of the chain working the entry jobs, I would suggest great tools, great flows and really, anything that would limit the amount of time it would take to get responses back. Moving up the chain and learning the tricks of the trade I would start suggestions with proper presentations and proof of efficiency. This proved to be beneficial. The interesting portion however, came from different management.
Focusing on the successful ones, they integrated culture change. Culture change is always difficult, with all the politics, procedures and what not else that exists in a large corporation. The effectiveness of being able to make the change always brought success in the implementation. If this was not accomplished, the opposite occurred, where by efficiency dropped and the projects felt the ramifications of limited culture change.
You ever work with someone who is over sensitive? Don’t know how to deal with it? It comes with experience but I wanted to give a quick example and a solution of steps to try that work with me.
After working with a member on my team I realized that the person valued how “smart” they were. They valued being the smartest guy on the team. Rightly so they were the smartest in their own domain. Everyone has different skill sets that they excel at and being the smartest all around doesn’t always apply. What happened over and over however, the person would get upset with anything and anyone who tried to show him something that he didn’t know. What I realized however, that a pattern was emerging. Steps I took:
- Started following the pattern
- Analyzed what was said and how
- Developed the timing and situation
- Came up with different solutions and tested them
- Analyzed them and Voila
What we realized is that he wasn’t getting upset over him not being the smartest, he was upset over how we said. The tone and words that were used.. I am a direct person and will tell you straight to the face not worried about how you feel. Why? This is how I was raised and this is how my culture is.
So I started working with sensitivity words. These words included “we”, “let us”, and so on; words that were group mentality, words that avoided the “you are not that smart” feelings.
Sensitivity is a big issue both in the work and social life of everyone. I have my theories but will leave them for another article. The point is that you can’t afford to not accommodate these scenarios. People by nature are negative and by this thought we need to focus on avoiding sensitive dialogue. By this I mean becoming aware of any sensitive words that a person may take differently and have a mood swing that ruins productivity for the day.
Had a thought: I am not negative but everyone who says I’m negative is truly negative. How did I come up with this? Well after several years of reading a whole bunch of books on every religion, spirituality and emotional intelligence, I realized that society has started this new vibe of being “POSITIVE”, and wow is it ever bad. Here is how I see it:
- Someone comes into my life and I’m pretty happy with everything.
- They start feeding me their garbage about how happy their life is but really it is not… (We live in a country that breeds “Live to Work” mentality)
- I listen to their problems and realize that they have issues but by this point it is too late. I am sucked in.
- I say something that is causing me anguish
- I am labeled as negative by this person
What is interesting? These people full of negativity try to be positive, wasting all their energy on a process that eventually fails. They suppress their emotions and hold everything in attempting to be positive. The break eventually comes… my frustration is dealing with people who tell me I am negative…
Example: I have no money in my account and I’m bitching about it because my clients are not paying me… response, bro don’t me negative!
Really? That’s being negative? That being realistic! I am actually asking for help in this scenario. One aspect of this help is that I want someone to listen and the other is that I need a solution. What happens though? People see this as negative. I will tell you what negative is in my eyes:
- Starts with someone thinking they can’t do something.
- They try in a mediocre way and they fail.
- Then they try again in the same way and fail again.
- They repeat and bam! They are in a loop.
- They don’t try to change the loop and it just continues knowing they will keep failing!
How do you deal with negativity?
Well firstly you need to understand whether you have a problem with something or not. If it’s a problem and can be fixed easy… then fix it. If it is a problem that continually arises, then you have this “negativity” that will start to build. It is not the problem you have to fix but the process you are in that creates these similar problems. Analyzing the process is not simple and generally needs you to dedicate a lot of time! So be patient, breath and keep going!
I am Nikos. I am strong and brilliant and have a strong sense of who I am, what I need and what I want. This being said, I know a lot about myself and I am continually learning about life! I am most intrigued by people around me, who they are and what they do, and so on.
I look at things differently than others and I always wonder why. I have a thought process different than most and I believe I am lucky to have an opinion in a country where I can shout it out!
My life has not been on a straight road like some and has not been on a zigzag pattern either. It has been filled with great and bad times where I wondered why am I lucky to have this happen to me (noticed I said lucky on both the good and bad).
I am neither a positive person nor a negative person. I see life as is and searching for acceptance. I have beliefs in God, the universe and all that is mighty. I also believe in human nature hence, my opinion gets distorted between what is and what isn’t right on a society level. Some say I don’t care. Some say I care way too much.
The blogs of Nikos are written to show the people who read it that life is not status quo, life is not your own world, life is not what everyone says it to be. I see things that beg the question “Why?” and I look to answer it.
My process is simple, if it is stupid (irrational) then I will write about it. I hope one day that the stupid (irrational person) will read it! My views are not to harm anyone and are not meant to ruin society’s norm but to question (feeling like Socrates here).
My writings are written as I think. They will be written to influence and to help people who want to change. People who want to live. People who want to believe in a better world that is freedom!
I will make spelling mistakes, I will make language mistakes (after all not my first language) and I will often say stuff that is out of line. Don’t be alarmed it is normal. If you think I am yelling, it is just my passion coming out. If I say try something, don’t take it literally and then come back complaining (or suing). I hold no responsibility. I am not responsible for you what so ever. In fact no one is. It is all up to you… if you want to debate me, perfect! That’s what I want, a good conversation questioning the norm!
Also, look at my postings on presentations, services, companies and more… I am here to help, coach and mentor people
Check out www.satnermobile.com www.satnerhosting.com www.satner.com www.siliconw.com and www.liveappdesign.com for more information on my work!
That being said let’s start!
I introduced a networking flow that is quick and easy. By building your own style you will be comfortable in your own skill! Everyone is always out to become the best, however I believe it is a rhythm you build and dance through night of networking… You can only get better. Please review the presentation and comments are more than welcomed!
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