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Arrogance vs Confidence…PFFFF…

Have you ever been called arrogant? Have you ever been on a wild high of continual success and feeling like there is no turning back? The feeling of just going to be good times from here on out?

I, like everyone else, have my good days and my bad days. I also have my streaks and my ruts. The question is:

How do people perceive you when you are on a high, a winning streak that is flowing and no one can touch you?

My experience that I will share with you comes from a networking event where someone told me that I was “Arrogant” (this happens often especially with girls).  I almost stuttered in my response but not because I was offended but because I didn’t know why the person would through that out. What possible reasoning would a person have to make such a remark when they don’t even know the other person they just met?

As I started to do a memory dump of all the possible reasons, I stopped myself and responded with… its confidence… smiled and continued with… I do things right…

How can someone believe that someone else is arrogant without getting to know them firs? Is this a loss opportunity? I think so! Understanding that the two can be confused is one thing, not trying to learn the difference is another thing, which I conveniently call ignorance.

Let’s face it. Running a marathon is fun and games until you start doing well in it. Then you start to boast about how awesome it is and once you get committed you boast about how you have become so good at it and maybe it is time for the iron man. You start to give advice and spew confidence of all the right things you have done to improve.

Is this arrogance?  I think not!

Best example I can provide is with the resent success of Ray Lewis and the Baltimore Ravens. Look at the success this man has had. He pushed and pushed his team to victory.

Moral of the story is… there is a difference between the two. If you are confident don’t shy away when someone calls you arrogant. There is a list of things we can say to these people who assume you are arrogant. Fact is, confidence will prevail in how you conduct yourself.

Sanity? You have some??

Sanity? I have some…

Today marks the 28th of January and as every year I start planning for the year objectively and logically. I start looking at my business in a non biased way and align my vision to my goals, both the long term and short term. Sometimes it is fun and others it is a challenge, sanity you ask? Sanity comes in the process, where the process isn’t an hour nor a day but several days and really a roller coaster ride that has lasted over this past month.

So where does sanity come into play?

Well, that’s the thought that crossed my mind when I looked back at some moves I made this past year. Some risks I took and others I didn’t take.

So I ask:

Do you take the time to think about the risks of 2012?

Many people don’t look back. Many strive to avoid looking at mistakes as well as the wins. I believe that part of it comes from all this positive talk in social media and also from the day to day activities that don’t give us the time to reflect.
So, I decided to make a list of the things I do to analyze and gather my thoughts for the future. It is something that has worked over the years and I thought I would share it!

The Process:

1. Review the goals you set for 2012
2. List the wins of 2012
3. List the losses of 2012
4. Organize the why things happened
5. Organize the why you want or don’t want things to happen again
6. Create your top ten
7. Paste the list on your white board and read it every day

Why this process?

It is logical and it is beneficial to see everything as a timeline. We need to focus on the wins as we do on the losses. We need to become aware of the actions we took so we either repeat them or avoid them in the future.
Making the new goals for 2013 becomes easier once we are able to see the past and focus on making it in the following year. If you follow a process (doesn’t need to be mine) you are able to organize your thoughts and maintain calmness and your sanity. As small business owners, we are aware of the psychological torment that can accompany an individual running a business. Setting up procedures like this brings one back to level ground where decisions can be made without emotional attachments!

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PS. If you are wondering why I am sending this at the end of January… well I procrastinate… plus, I don’t want you to take this as a new year’s resolution… Now that the ugly and slow January is out of the way start planning!

Confidence in Math

Rather shocked when I meet people who can’t do basic math without the iPhone. Rather shocked that people can’t be confident in school, work, etc. when doing math. Is this a characteristic we picked up when we were young?  As we grew up did we realize that math either sucked or for some of us was rather fun?

I still go into schools to substitute and it is always a common occurrence to meet students who say they hate math and then see other who are working to get every question completely answered.

When do I convert people into believers of math? It comes at a time when I can relate the math to money or any kind of added value to their daily tasks.

So, I start showing smart math. Smart math is rather simple. It is math that enables one to understand basic concepts and at the same time do things quicker.

The process involves learning how to break down fractions faster, convert decimals to fractions, add, multiply, divide faster, etc.  By doing this they start mastering key math processes that start to become easier without them realizing it. Giving the basics a general walk through always entertains the non believers as they learn something of value that never settled in their head in the first place.

So why not google “Smart Math” and do an hour a day. Who knows, if you are in school you may get better in math and if you are a business owner you may get better at closing deals.

Believe me … or DON’T

I am running a marathon… or at least I think.. last few months now… is it will or hope? The question I often ask myself!

I am actually running a marathon in the arctic, barefoot and shirtless.  When starting a new venture you analyze all and take risks… risks I took.

Small business is all about risk. Whether you quit your job to start a venture… or you build on it over time… to take the plunge, one thing is for certain… you made a choice and now you need to keep going!

The usual trip of an entrepreneur starts with a dream. Starts with a dream that aims to make things better! As things progress, one begins to think that all is good and success is on the way. As the wheal starts to role, one begins to gain great confidence only to be shut down with reality a short while later.

What happens? What turns the tide from happiness to disparity?

Reality! Yes, reality hits and we realize that the business world was not as we thought it would be. All the sudden success isn’t as promised (as we thought) nor as we expected.  We are now chasing a dream and not a goal. The key word here is goal. People get stuck in an adventure hoping that all goes well but when do we know to go on or quit?

I like to think that this is the point we start analyzing where we are at. Can we figure it out or do we need help? Can we keep going or should we quit? The questions are there but do we have an answer…

The point that we need is to stop and think, and say yes, we need a break from reality, we need a break from fakeness… we need a chance at a new beginning.  This is the point where we stop, no thinking, not actions, just being still.

Stillness is the key to my success. I absorb all my emotions (negative and positive) and allow them to settle down. Usually this is during my coffee break! I create a mind map of things that need to be done to change the tide and jump on the first idea that I think will bring me success.  This is the stage where we reset and align our actions with the goals!

Why does it work for me?

It works for one reason… when you have no emotion in an idea you have no biased opinion… you are using your mind, your knowledge and experience.

My next article will be all about my “NIKOS strategy”; the third person approach! Conveniently the cure to regret!

Don’t be Stressed, there’s no POINT!

I don’t know about you… but I haven’t had a full stressful day in years…

Why?

Simple! I don’t worry about things that may or may not happen. I get the deal? Great! I don’t get the deal? Great! Move on! Kinda like dating, no?

I see it this way:

  1. Opportunity comes
  2. Make a choice on it
  3. Win/Lose situation occurs
  4. Smile/frown
  5. Repeat

Why?

This is life. You can’t win everything and you can’t lose everything. I would say it is more like baseball and batting averages. Today you have a tough pitcher on his game and tomorrow you don’t.

In the stretch you should be succeeding or you are definitely doing something wrong. If that’s the case, consult with someone! Find a mentor or a friend that wants to listen to you and will help you find a solution (note: someone in the field of fixing things).  I have people from all industries around me. I strive to keep them close.

How many friends do I have? Well that’s a based on your definition of what a friend is.

In reality, you need to become self aware. You have no friends and you have no one around you; only those who need you are around! But you need them and you are sharing services… use what is available and build on what you have to get what you want.

Stress leaves when you realize that you are who you are and things come as they come. Accept that you are in a rut and figure out a way to change what is causing the rut…

Bank called? Great! Girl/boy called? Great! Business partner, client, employer, landlord, and so on? Great!

Something is wrong let’s figure it out! Find out what you need fixing and move forward in your journey. After all no one is better nor worse than you!

Fact is I don’t stress. I don’t worry. I just wonder and my mind leaves into the abyss.  When it comes back, work is done, the problem leaves and I am back in the game!

 

 

Jimmy Kimmel on Negativity... Problems and Positive (ness)

Negativity – Society Norm to Avoid by Deflecting with Positiveness

Jimmy Kimmel on Negativity... Problems and Positive (ness)

Jimmy Kimmel on Negativity… Problems and Positive (ness)

Had a thought: I am not negative but everyone who says I’m negative is truly negative. How did I come up with this? Well after several years of reading a whole bunch of books on every religion, spirituality and emotional intelligence, I realized that society has started this new vibe of being “POSITIVE”, and wow is it ever bad. Here is how I see it:

  1. Someone comes into my life and I’m pretty happy with everything.
  2. They start feeding me their garbage about how happy their life is but really it is not… (We live in a country that breeds “Live to Work” mentality)
  3.  I listen to their problems and realize that they have issues but by this point it is too late. I am sucked in.
  4. I say something that is causing me anguish
  5. I am labeled as negative by this person

What is interesting?  These people full of negativity try to be positive, wasting all their energy on a process that eventually fails. They suppress their emotions and hold everything in attempting to be positive. The break eventually comes… my frustration is dealing with people who tell me I am negative…

Example: I have no money in my account and I’m bitching about it because my clients are not paying me… response, bro don’t me negative!

Really? That’s being negative? That being realistic! I am actually asking for help in this scenario. One aspect of this help is that I want someone to listen and the other is that I need a solution. What happens though? People see this as negative. I will tell you what negative is in my eyes:

  1. Starts with someone thinking they can’t do something.
  2. They try in a mediocre way and they fail.
  3. Then they try again in the same way and fail again.
  4.  They repeat and bam! They are in a loop.
  5.  They don’t try to change the loop and it just continues knowing they will keep failing!

How do you deal with negativity?

Well firstly you need to understand whether you have a problem with something or not. If it’s a problem and can be fixed easy… then fix it. If it is a problem that continually arises, then you have this “negativity” that will start to build.  It is not the problem you have to fix but the process you are in that creates these similar problems.  Analyzing the process is not simple and generally needs you to dedicate a lot of time! So be patient, breath and keep going!

The Nikos

Nikos Blog? What is it and why I write!

The Nikos

I am Nikos. I am strong and brilliant and have a strong sense of who I am, what I need and what I want. This being said, I know a lot about myself and I am continually learning about life! I am most intrigued by people around me, who they are and what they do, and so on.

I look at things differently than others and I always wonder why. I have a thought process different than most and I believe I am lucky to have an opinion in a country where I can shout it out!

My life has not been on a straight road like some and has not been on a zigzag pattern either. It has been filled with great and bad times where I wondered why am I lucky to have this happen to me (noticed I said lucky on both the good and bad).

I am neither a positive person nor a negative person. I see life as is and searching for acceptance. I have beliefs in God, the universe and all that is mighty. I also believe in human nature hence, my opinion gets distorted between what is and what isn’t right on a society level. Some say I don’t care. Some say I care way too much.

The blogs of Nikos are written to show the people who read it that life is not status quo, life is not your own world, life is not what everyone says it to be.  I see things that beg the question “Why?” and I look to answer it.

My process is simple, if it is stupid (irrational) then I will write about it. I hope one day that the stupid (irrational person) will read it! My views are not to harm anyone and are not meant to ruin society’s norm but to question (feeling like Socrates here).

My writings are written as I think. They will be written to influence and to help people who want to change. People who want to live. People who want to believe in a better world that is freedom!

I will make spelling mistakes, I will make language mistakes (after all not my first language) and I will often say stuff that is out of line. Don’t be alarmed it is normal. If you think I am yelling, it is just my passion coming out. If I say try something, don’t take it literally and then come back complaining (or suing). I hold no responsibility. I am not responsible for you what so ever. In fact no one is. It is all up to you… if you want to debate me, perfect! That’s what I want, a good conversation questioning the norm!

Also, look at my postings on presentations, services, companies and more… I am here to help, coach and mentor people

Check out www.satnermobile.com www.satnerhosting.com www.satner.com www.siliconw.com and www.liveappdesign.com for more information on my work!

That being said let’s start!