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I don’t live life to the fullest… what should I do?

Recently had someone ask me the question, “I don’t live life to the fullest, what should I do?” and quite frankly didn’t know how to answer. So I have pondered it for a while and here goes. I asked what is it that they need right now in their life and they said “enjoyment”. The following question was simple to ask but hard to answer… what does enjoyment mean?

I realized over the past few years that life is simple. Life becomes difficult when we get stuck in this process of emotional un-attachment to our inner selves. We want something but how do we get it especially when we don’t know what it is we want.

What about Soul Searching?

I think not! I don’t believe in this process of searching for one self’s inner being. I don’t believe in searching for something that we don’t know how to find. Why? I am a logical, realistic person who believes that life brings you to events based on previous decisions. I have sat and pondered while doing the whole soul searching adventure and I realized until I try things out I won’t know what I like.

So what did I recommend to this person?

Make a list of things you don’t want to do… and simply don’t do them (Just like the commercial).

Focus on doing anything but those. Opportunity arises for something, ask yourself:

Is this something I don’t want to be doing?

The simple fact is that if you know you won’t want to be doing it then it won’t make you happy to be doing it. So how can you live your life to the fullest if you continually do stuff that you don’t like to do?

Getting rid of these will immediately change your life.  Trying new things involve patience and time. If you are in a place where you don’t want to be, change where you are by moving to something that isn’t on your list of things you don’t want to be doing!

The NIKOS: the third person approach!

Are you a regretful person? Do you regret a lot of things you do? Sometimes they torture you? Pardon the French but do you ever say to yourself: “#@?! was I thinking?”

I used to! I think everyone does. Don’t have stats on it but I am pretty sure everyone I talk to has had that moment and if you haven’t, come for a coffee and quick chat and I will make sure you say it… the question is why? Why do we get into these situations?

Simple: it’s the EMOTION!

Your emotion controls many decisions in a given day. From what you wear to what you do, where you go, how you say things, what you say, and so on. Emotions guide us and if you read up on the brain, emotion is a part of our decision making process.

So what’s the cure? Well there is no cure but we can create a behavioral process to lower the average amount of times you get into a regretful situation. How you ask?

Simple: Talk in third person!

Nikos is the best! Nikos rocks! Nikos, Nikos, Nikos… NO!  I don’t mean this!

Third person approach is much different. It is an art that is developed over time! You must take your time learning the technique. You put yourself in a baby step learning process.

The third person approach works like a charm when engaged in any situation where a decision will be made and emotion is part of it.

Examples include, should I buy something? Should I go to sleep? Should I do my homework? Should I spend time with a person I don’t like? Should I be getting advice? Should I, Should I, Should I…

When making critical decisions to problems, I use this process (replace with your name):

  1. Calm yourself down with a coffee or something that relaxes you
  2. Analyze the problem analytically
  3. Calm yourself down again by forgetting the problem
  4. Create the options that exist to the decisions
  5. Say:  What is the best decision here for Nikos? Nikos, it is best for you to… because… and you will not regret it for the following reasons, Etc.
  6. Write it down to have the why of your decision handy
  7. Remind yourself that you made the decision for the reasons…..
  8. DONE!

Try this for a few months… it will be hard but the advantages will change your mood. You will be happier in every decision you make. You will become a decision making GURU…

How did I come about this?

When running your own business situations come up where you need to make a critical decision. Sometimes you can get advice and sometimes you can’t. This process came about when I thought to myself, WHAT WOULD I RECOMMEND TO A CLIENT?

Magically the decision to use third person was an excellent choice… Simply put, AWESOME!

 

 

Believe me … or DON’T

I am running a marathon… or at least I think.. last few months now… is it will or hope? The question I often ask myself!

I am actually running a marathon in the arctic, barefoot and shirtless.  When starting a new venture you analyze all and take risks… risks I took.

Small business is all about risk. Whether you quit your job to start a venture… or you build on it over time… to take the plunge, one thing is for certain… you made a choice and now you need to keep going!

The usual trip of an entrepreneur starts with a dream. Starts with a dream that aims to make things better! As things progress, one begins to think that all is good and success is on the way. As the wheal starts to role, one begins to gain great confidence only to be shut down with reality a short while later.

What happens? What turns the tide from happiness to disparity?

Reality! Yes, reality hits and we realize that the business world was not as we thought it would be. All the sudden success isn’t as promised (as we thought) nor as we expected.  We are now chasing a dream and not a goal. The key word here is goal. People get stuck in an adventure hoping that all goes well but when do we know to go on or quit?

I like to think that this is the point we start analyzing where we are at. Can we figure it out or do we need help? Can we keep going or should we quit? The questions are there but do we have an answer…

The point that we need is to stop and think, and say yes, we need a break from reality, we need a break from fakeness… we need a chance at a new beginning.  This is the point where we stop, no thinking, not actions, just being still.

Stillness is the key to my success. I absorb all my emotions (negative and positive) and allow them to settle down. Usually this is during my coffee break! I create a mind map of things that need to be done to change the tide and jump on the first idea that I think will bring me success.  This is the stage where we reset and align our actions with the goals!

Why does it work for me?

It works for one reason… when you have no emotion in an idea you have no biased opinion… you are using your mind, your knowledge and experience.

My next article will be all about my “NIKOS strategy”; the third person approach! Conveniently the cure to regret!

Don’t be Stressed, there’s no POINT!

I don’t know about you… but I haven’t had a full stressful day in years…

Why?

Simple! I don’t worry about things that may or may not happen. I get the deal? Great! I don’t get the deal? Great! Move on! Kinda like dating, no?

I see it this way:

  1. Opportunity comes
  2. Make a choice on it
  3. Win/Lose situation occurs
  4. Smile/frown
  5. Repeat

Why?

This is life. You can’t win everything and you can’t lose everything. I would say it is more like baseball and batting averages. Today you have a tough pitcher on his game and tomorrow you don’t.

In the stretch you should be succeeding or you are definitely doing something wrong. If that’s the case, consult with someone! Find a mentor or a friend that wants to listen to you and will help you find a solution (note: someone in the field of fixing things).  I have people from all industries around me. I strive to keep them close.

How many friends do I have? Well that’s a based on your definition of what a friend is.

In reality, you need to become self aware. You have no friends and you have no one around you; only those who need you are around! But you need them and you are sharing services… use what is available and build on what you have to get what you want.

Stress leaves when you realize that you are who you are and things come as they come. Accept that you are in a rut and figure out a way to change what is causing the rut…

Bank called? Great! Girl/boy called? Great! Business partner, client, employer, landlord, and so on? Great!

Something is wrong let’s figure it out! Find out what you need fixing and move forward in your journey. After all no one is better nor worse than you!

Fact is I don’t stress. I don’t worry. I just wonder and my mind leaves into the abyss.  When it comes back, work is done, the problem leaves and I am back in the game!

 

 

The Nikos

Nikos Blog? What is it and why I write!

The Nikos

I am Nikos. I am strong and brilliant and have a strong sense of who I am, what I need and what I want. This being said, I know a lot about myself and I am continually learning about life! I am most intrigued by people around me, who they are and what they do, and so on.

I look at things differently than others and I always wonder why. I have a thought process different than most and I believe I am lucky to have an opinion in a country where I can shout it out!

My life has not been on a straight road like some and has not been on a zigzag pattern either. It has been filled with great and bad times where I wondered why am I lucky to have this happen to me (noticed I said lucky on both the good and bad).

I am neither a positive person nor a negative person. I see life as is and searching for acceptance. I have beliefs in God, the universe and all that is mighty. I also believe in human nature hence, my opinion gets distorted between what is and what isn’t right on a society level. Some say I don’t care. Some say I care way too much.

The blogs of Nikos are written to show the people who read it that life is not status quo, life is not your own world, life is not what everyone says it to be.  I see things that beg the question “Why?” and I look to answer it.

My process is simple, if it is stupid (irrational) then I will write about it. I hope one day that the stupid (irrational person) will read it! My views are not to harm anyone and are not meant to ruin society’s norm but to question (feeling like Socrates here).

My writings are written as I think. They will be written to influence and to help people who want to change. People who want to live. People who want to believe in a better world that is freedom!

I will make spelling mistakes, I will make language mistakes (after all not my first language) and I will often say stuff that is out of line. Don’t be alarmed it is normal. If you think I am yelling, it is just my passion coming out. If I say try something, don’t take it literally and then come back complaining (or suing). I hold no responsibility. I am not responsible for you what so ever. In fact no one is. It is all up to you… if you want to debate me, perfect! That’s what I want, a good conversation questioning the norm!

Also, look at my postings on presentations, services, companies and more… I am here to help, coach and mentor people

Check out www.satnermobile.com www.satnerhosting.com www.satner.com www.siliconw.com and www.liveappdesign.com for more information on my work!

That being said let’s start!